the night was brighter when you lingered, and love was a mystery till you walk by my side.
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=X1jpuJWkS8g&si=seycVswqhJC0dWEf
12 am means nothing but another sleepless night until i saw he was studying.
every night feels like a “hard to sleep” night for me, until i finally got something to do — daily chores, you can say. on a tired day, i wish i can sleep earlier and wake up earlier. but alas, i have to study and do something, working, but it’s not a big deal for me. it’s okay. as long as i can finish it, i don’t mind working overtime for 1 to 2 hours from my usual sleep schedule (i can finally get better on this one).
i never really put any attention to his daily activities, until…
until i saw his instagram where he showed a picture of him studying, or perhaps post-study, with his neat desk, Arabic lecture, papers, pen and books, and bukhoor that always there, accompanying him at night. sometimes i’m wondering the smells, but my sensitive nose perhaps aren’t friendly with the light smoke.
we’re 1 hour time difference apart, but my once sleepless night feels more meaningful.
at the time when i’m writing this, i’m hearing to vira talisa — walking back home. i don’t know whether it’s supposed to be a sad song, comfort, or happy song, or just.. a song that let out the inner feelings of someone to someone. but at the same time, i’m also studying. now, studying feels like something blissful. and makes me wondering,
Is he also studying there? How’s his final week?
i knew him from a best friend, what a destiny because at that time: i need motivation.
i saw his instagram for the first time and immediately thought that he was so amazing. a double degree student, i guess? i don’t know. but his niche is study, motivation, Arabic.. and such.
one day, he did a live streaming, talking about this and that, about his college life and lecture.
i know nothing about Arabic as daily language, because all these times, i read Arabic only from the Qur’an, but then i saw his live streaming — he talked in three languages: arabic, malay, and english for those who didn’t speak or fluent in two others.
and i asked him, out of nowhere, about his current read or his favorite book. i remembered he answered my question, but i couldn’t hear it clearly — perhaps because he answered it in malay mixed english.
and then, i saw him posted an Arabic quotes, a gentle reminder.
again, i know nothing about Arabic, but then he posted a quote, then the next one he showed the translation because someone asked. i love those words, it’s a friendly and gentle reminder, especially for an overthinker like me, or other people out there. the quote said:
relax my dear. everyone walks on the path Allah sets for them. tidak ada yang lebih cepat dari sepatutnya dan tidak pula kau terlambat.
i never really get a chance to ask something to him, not that i wish i have, but i just want to say thank you and perhaps a good luck or “selamat berjaya” to him.
especially for the quote he made, since i now using it as my phone wallpaper, even though it’s in Arabic, but i remember the translation, so it’s not a big matter. whenever i feel like i’m late, or feel low, i’ll go to my home screen and look at that words.
perhaps, you’re wondering, “do you like him?”
well, not in a romantic way, of course. because, i yet to get any romantic feelings for someone these past 3 years. but i adore him for his work ethic, brain, behavior, hard working self and value.
one day, he finally do a live streaming again on insta.
and i finally got a chance to say things that i’d like to let it out to him since then. and luckily, he read almost all of my comments — even said my “unique” username, didn’t expect that, really. but after all, he’s such a nice, clever, diligent and friendly man. i said something about using his quote as my wallpaper and kindly asked him for another Arabic words if he got free time or got any ideas. and he answered with “inshaAllah.”
i, of course, once again asked him about books, novels, whether he likes to read books in arabic too or only in english and malay. but his answer made me laugh. because, he said he didn’t really enjoy reading! he loves hiking and nature activities more.
he’s studying with k-drama. and it’s questionable. and i asked him about that.
yes. you didn’t read it wrong because he is. sometimes, he’s studying while watching k-drama or perhaps just turn on the k-drama on his tablet but not really watching it. i asked him one day, on a comment, whether he can be focus or not. and of course, the answer is no. but he still enjoy watching it. me, on the other hand, not really watching k-drama these days, nor i’m watching while studying.. i just can’t. listening to music while studying is enough for me to keep my focus.
he once went to my country. but at this time, i didn’t know him or his account at all.
ever heard about: you attract someone who has the same vibrancy and frequency as you?
perhaps he’s (well, of course.. right?) not in a situation where he’s attracted to me, but i believe we’re in the same vibrancy or frequency, thus i can finally found his account through my bestie and followed him and then got a free motivation for studying. and it feels satisfying and motivating to see someone dedicated in study.
and yes, he went to my country before, for a delegation, he was a representative for his country and won something, i wasn’t really sure, but he talked about this one time (because i asked him, the other day when he did another live stream).
and once again, glad that i could tell him about this one city —near the city he went when he was a representative for his country — where i studied and spent my 4 years there. i hope he searched information for that.
and yes, he’s that one man who always studying at 12 am.
2024 become a year where i need to study more, and most of the time spent my days for studying, learning something new. and glad that i found his account, because he always studying at 12 am (malaysia time), due to a lecture from abroad (5 hours time difference).
because, whenever i feel tired of studying something new, or just in a lack of motivation phase, i can always see him — having a lecture at 12 am, and said that “that’s why i always sleep late” but at the end he’s doing it because he loves it. even though sometimes, we don’t like exam, we will always keep studying or learning something new, every single day.
and perhaps, who knows in your tired day, lack of motivation phase, you can find someone who can be the indirect motivator for your life, the source of sunshine to live life to the fullest. or maybe, they find you.
